Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Where Do I start?

I guess I'll start from the present. I'm 25, a college grad, I have a pretty decent job, a loving family and terrific fiance and I am so lost. I mean I feel guilty because I have so much but still I have never been more confused. I am at a job that is so stressful I sometimes take days off from work just so I don't loose my mind. I listen to other peoples problems all day long. I go home thinking is that person OK. I have even started to have some kind of panic or anxiety attacks. I know it's time to get a new job but... Well there is no but that is it!
My Fiance is the best man in the would he is all a women can ask for and the things you didn't even think to ask. So why do I still have dreams about the man who broke my heart? Why do I still answer his calls? Why didn't I tell him I was engaged until three months later? Why am I not running around planning what should be the wedding of the year?
I feel so stuck between the child I was and the woman I should be. This could be the ranting of a person who has too much to be yappin about. But I cant shake the feeling that I'm not making the right decisions. Do I stay at a job that I hate because it has good benefits and a retirement plan. Do I stay with a man because he is wonderful and stable or wait for the magical fairy tale feeling.

1 Comments:

Blogger Brian said...

Many people hear about all the fairy tale feelings and magical perfect someone that will complete them. What is not told is that in reality relationships, even magical ones, have ups and downs, good days and bad ones, you will romance and you will fight. It boils down to "relationships are work" even the fairy tale ones.

You need to ask yourself if you are feeling the blahs with your fiance because you truly do not love him or if it is because you are so overwhelmed with life that you do not have the energy to be in love with him?

If you find that you really do not love him then you need to be honest with him and not hurt him by doing something that, I promise you, you will regret.

I hope things work out for you and I promise that things will get easier in time... they will also get harder life if funny like that.

5:31 AM  

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